Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Comment to How to Search for a Soulmate

Within my lifetime, I have had 3 really bad experiences, the first one I met when we were young; back then, the man was the "boss" of the family because he made the money, and the mother of the children stayed home. She was "Susie Homemaker or Donna Reed." After the Vietnam War the "crazy’s set in, and the women’s movement allowed women to look between their legs with a mirror to see what was there "the lights came on." So, I went to school to get a degree, and I became the worst woman in the world--a "divorcee" which was still a nasty term. Long story short after sixteen years the end of a once blissful relationship, and 4 children to raise alone. Second, long term relationship a miserable failure not worth discussing; besides, I have forgotten his name. Third, short term relationship a very miserable mistake got out really fast--married 30 days-- still cost me a lot of money and grief; besides, it isn’t nice to talk about the dead.

I have tried all the above ways to identify a nice guy to date or develop a long term relationship, but I have found so many with agendas to suite their needs based on my portfolio, so it is usually a miss; especially, when I don’t meet their expectations--I don’t do what I am told. I have gone from making lists of what I would like in a man--Yes, I have read those books too, to what I don’t want in a man--my book. Simple, 1. a man without child support payments or alimony. 2. I don’t want to be the nurse or the purse--hard one to detect, 3. To..."do you have your $100 thou? I have mine"--I learned that one from my neighbors and that is why he doesn’t have anyone.

Once online, I met a man who told me that I was the best woman out of the 5 wives he had married and divorced, and that he didn’t need a mother for his nine children; he could take care of them himself. I told him that I know the size of a "package" when I see one--nine kids, five moma’s drama, and all the step’s and half’s and in and out law’s chaos. Talk about a fatal attraction he was harder to get rid of than bubble gum that had gotten stuck to the bottom of my shoe or an adult child who comes home for awhile--years.

Lately, I just like to enjoy the friendship of my male friends. There are no expectations, and we talk more about doing things and projects than actually doing them. Usually, health is in the way. I have been so busy the last five years like a squirrel storing up for a long winter--called retirement--that I have not taken the time to entertain a serious male relationship--it’s too much work, and I have to think too much. Besides, after cleaning my grandchildren’s underwear, I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s.

A real funny comes to mind... Not too long ago, I was in the grocery store and this nice looking gentleman comes up to me and asks. "I know you from somewhere, don’t I?" I said, "Probably, but where?" I wanted him to do the guessing because I get this question all the time. He mentioned an island--his hometown; he really wanted me to be from there. I said, "No, I am really from Pennsylvania." He looked at me like "kind of funny" then walked off.

I didn’t realize until afterwards that it was a "come on," I totally missed the boat, the ship, the plane, the train, the bus, and my sister said, "The entire day." I just don’t get it. I guess I am just destine to spend the rest of my life alone with sundry grandchildren and young friends waltzing in and out of my guest bedroom, and to think I wanted to put a big screen tv in there. They would never leave so that room gets the worst and smallest tv.

No pets...thank you very much. It is too much responsibility; besides, pet health insurance is too high.

No comments: