Ramble...Insight

Growing, growing constantly growing.

I have been searching for a companion on the online dating sites. I have spent a lot of money, done a lot of profiles, and have even been a couple of dates; however, I have been thorougly disappointed with many of the responses and encounters.

It seems that men in their 60s and 70s still think like many men in their early 20s or 40s... they think like "Fantasy Island." Or, perhaps I have a misconstrued idea of what dating is suppose to be for folks in their 60s and 70s.

For one, I never thought I would grow up to find myself "in search" of a companion in my 60s. I spent so much of my time in my 50s and early 60s preparing for my retirement--I wanted independence in my old age. I worked long hours and dated or socialized very little because of time constraints. For some reason or other, I just thought that every one would wait for me. But, it didn't happen.

Although there seems to be a large supply of men on some of the services; on the other hand, there seems to be none. Whenever a young man in his late 40s or early 50s would try to "woo" me, I would put up my shield because I don't want to work with any one to build a life. I have already done my do or paid my dues. I don't want to work to build a business or a home or even to raise some one else's small children or to put any more children through college or to put up with the "rebel without a cause" teenagers or even help pay for hidden child support. What happened while I was out preparing for retirement? The world changed so much I can hardly identify with it....did some one move the planet, and I missed the space ship?

One day as I was walking to the drug store which is across the street from my condo, an elderly gentleman, dressed in one of those old plaid polyester Leisure suits of the 60s or 70s, was anxiously walking up and down the sidewalk mumbling some thing to himself. He asked me about the address. I told him; he was standing in the right place. He said that he was to meet a young lady there, but she was late. He commenced to tell me that he was 90 yo, was a retired lawyer who had completed all 12 classes to attain his law degree--no timeline. Puzzled, I asked, "all you had to take was 12 classes?" He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "yes." Then, he said "well I guess she isn't coming I guess I had better leave." He pulled out a set of car keys, and I asked him. "Are you driving?" He said, "sure, the cars, nowadays, drive themselves." He got into a small blue car and as he left the parking lot, he made his wheels squeal as he rounded the corner. I was left in shock. Here a 90 yo man was waiting for his date who evidently stood him up, or he or she had the wrong address or corner to meet on. It was hard for me at that time to reconcile the fact that this man was dating in his 90s. BTW he did say she was "a kid" in her 50s.

I am still puzzled about what this dating idea is suppose to be because when my 24 yo grandson tells me how I am to conduct myself on a date it is not what I invision a mature woman like myself who is use to the old traditional dating styles of the 50s and 60s is suppose to conduct herself. I, too, think that a mature gentleman would expect a women of my culture and ilk to conduct herself in like manner and decorum. I just don't know what to do. So, I will simply stay the way I am because if I am to have a meaningful and fulfilling companion in my latter years it will happen or not. I am not going to perplex over it. Just very concerned about the "so called" rules for dating in ones 60s and 70s. Is there a book yet? Or, is it my turn to write one? Just a thought.