Ramble...On and on

It has been a really crazy summer for me. Now as we approach the "Dog's Days" of summer, I always feel as though this is the last of summer for within a few weeks it will be time for school to start again, and I would be back in the classroom.

This is my first summer of retirement, and I thought it would be filled with grandchildren. They called it "Camp Granny." It started as soon as school was out in June, and I was to transport them home by train in August just before school. However, when my son showed up with the girls (6 and 8 yo), the plan was for him to clean and repair my windows as well as some other chores on my "Honey Do" list. For the entire of June, I had a great time cooking fun receipes and "oatmeal"--an all time favorite, and taking the girls on long walks to Greynolds Park, and thrifting at thrift stores, and they really enjoyed church. During one of my workouts, I sprained my shoulder again, so I began to slow down from the pain. I suggested to my son that he take the girls home because I didn't think I would be able to properly care for them. He said he was waiting for me to make the suggestion.

Before they left, I had started to develop a slight cough; then, it turned into a really nasty cough; then, before I knew it, I was really sick. I didn't call the doctor, but my children from Lakeland, FL, Houston, TX and Pittsburgh, PA called me almost every day to check on me. They bugged me to go to the doctor, but I kept assuring them that I was OK. I just had a bad cold.

One night I ventured out to get Alka Seltzer and a large bottle of Vitamin C so that I could medicate myself. Needless to say, whenever I took the concotion, I felt so much better. I slept for about two weeks; then. I would walk to Publix's for more food or tea or whatever I needed. I waited until dark so that I didn't have the objection of the sun to contend with, but the cool evenings and breeze from the ocean, which is three miles away, was so delicious. As I began to feel better, I began to venture out a little more and contact friends who thought I was away on a vacation. For three weeks, I laid alone in my home sick. If I were working my work friends would have been to the house called a million times and bugged me to go to the doctor, but since I am no longer showing up every day, there is no one to notice my absences...spooky thought. So, when does one know to call 911 or it is time to secure medical attention when one is rattling around in ones own head? I have started to develop another support system to help me through these "under the weather" times.

During my imposed recluse or incluse, I started to watch movies on Netflix from my computer. I thought nothing of watching up to 3 or 4 movies a day. It has become an addiction because my day plan is to simply look at my Queue and "pick a movie"....you know like "pick a color" at the manicurist. By now, I have watched hundreds of movies.

My next dilemma is how to get out of the house. My friends have been inviting me to lunch and shopping trips, and the pastor has invited me to movie night at her house, but as soon as I get back to my cave I am mentally stuck there. I even went on Craigslist and found a gentleman who wants a companion to simply ride to Boston with him. He planned to be gone for 10 days in August. We talked for a hot minute; then, I decided that I didn't want to ride in a car for a couple of days to see museums and other attractions. I know it would have been fun, and I would have benefitted from the stimulation. However, I would have rathered taken a plane rented a car and enjoyed the Boston. I no longer care for long road trips. When I first retired, I would drive for four hours to take the grands out to lunch once a month, but it got old really fast. My grandson misses me, so I have to schedule a date in August before school starts again just to keep the peace and let every one know that I am OK.

I pulled out my Richard Simmon's "Sweatin to the Oldies" DVDs and I have started to dance with them. I cleaned off my Pilates machine so that I can stretch, and I put the Rebounder up so that I can bounce on it when I pass it. I got some really nice vitamins, and I have started to gain my strength back. I am still eating TV dinners because I don't have an inclination to cook a meal for myself. I just make sure I pile on stir fryed veggies to round out my meal. I just can't wait until I get passionate about something again. My bud's keep telling me I will find my niche. I sure hope it isn't watching so many movies and working out alone because I sure love it.
Mostly, I appreciated the fact that I could rest and really convalesce without worry about my work or commitments. As I heal, my muscle pain and shoulder has begun to feel better as well. Right now, I am really singing the praises of rest and good food and good books and well a few good movies.

An aside, as I proof my journal entry, I almost forgot that my heart is still a little heavy because my cousin (53) was shot in the chest and killed. No one wanted to tell his mother, so when my cousin's sister told her mother. She simply thanked them. After my aunt visited with the family without much consequence, she said she was tired, so she went to her bed to rest. It seems, when her great granddaughter went to check on her and she found her dead. She simply went to sleep. So, in July we had to bury a mother and son a couple of days a part. Needless to say, my heart is so heavy, for I have lost a cousin and an aunt the only solace is that they have gone home, and that they will save a place for us. We always say "I'll see you when you come home."